Saturday, May 23, 2009

Terminator: Salivation.

Terminator Salvation
Year: 2009
Rated: PG-13
Genre: Science Fiction / Action
Director: McG
Writer(s): John D. Brancato, Michael Ferris
Uncredited Writer(s): Jonathan Nolan, Anthony E. Zuiker, Shawn Ryan, Paul Haggis, David C. Wilson.

Note: I'm going to try to give the reviews a more formal look from now on. I'm basically copying i-mockery's way of doing it. Umm.. go to their website, it's better than this. I'll probably put a link in the sidebar when I'm done with this.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks thats a lot of uncreated writers. Please. That's just unreal. My god. That many people, including someone who wrote the Dark Knight (DK for short) couldn't make this movie any good.

Yeah, I'll spare you the plot - it only boarders on interesting a few times, but always stays in that 'huh, what, this doesn't work with the other movies' area for way too long - and come out and say it: This is the worst giant fighting robot movie of the year.

To begin with, this movie isn't really about John Conner. It's about this possible robot man guy named Marcus... or something. And it's about Kyle Reese. Being more of a fan of the Reese character than anyone else in the series, I enjoyed this aspect. Now, beyond that, there really are no other characters. They're all just there. Waiting for their robot enemies to attack or what-have-you. Some one's pregnant. Some one's Asian and has ash marks permanently around her eyes. And some one is the rapper Common. Beyond that, they ain't much else.

The acting is bland. It's kinda sci-fi channel original caliber acting with Christian Bale pretending he is still playing Batman. Which gets so annoying as all hell. Jesus. Stop doing that. On the subject of Batman, this movie suffers from the DK backlash: It's needlessly dark and serious in tone, there is little breathing room, and every character has to either die or go through some major loss. None on which seems significant in this movie because you never really care about what's happening to any of the characters. Besides that Marcus guy, I cared about him.

Now, the action is actually exciting, for what it is. The style was a cross between Michael Bay and Children of Men. Frantic but up-close and never lingering. However, there are only about 3 actual action scenes. One really long one and a few shorter ones.

This movie gave me Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull flashbacks, which isn't good. Everything about this just felt so phoned-in and under-thought. Nothing had any importance. It didn't make you feel like Connor was this great hero over the machines. It didn't even make me feel like the Machines were really that big of a problem in the future. Also, Helena Bonham Carter shows up near that end and I thought that was really strange.

Hey, just watch T2.

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